The day a spouse finds out about an affair, normally (sad, that there is a “normally” to this sort of thing) is referred to as “D-Day”.
“D” as in death…of an individual, of dreams, and sometimes of a marriage.
My “D-day” was more like an entire weekend.
It is seared in my brain.
It started February 7th, 2014.
It’s been 6th months. I struggle with the 7th of every month. I don’t know how long that date will haunt me, but for now it’s my reality.
On February 6th my husband walked in the door to our home as I was getting ready to put our 9 & 10-year-old children to bed.
He had moved out after the first of the year. He wasn’t happy. I had no idea why. His personality had changed several times over the last year and a half. And around Christmas I had started to suspect he was “falling” for someone but I had no proof….nor did I ever really think he would be the “type” of man who would cheat…after all, I wouldn’t have married him if I thought he would.
We were in the middle of the worst winter in my 37-year-old memory, so I was becoming angry at all the extra work I now had…being a “single” working mother, shoveling snow twice a day, helping 2 kids with homework, cooking dinner, carting kids to practices and games…all while trying to be Miss Mary Sunshine. I was dying inside.
One night he called. He was going on vacation. He didn’t want any contact. He was heading east. And I knew another snow storm was due to hit us and head that way. He didn’t care.
So he left.
And I didn’t call.
But I went to see an attorney and get my plan in place while he was gone. Because now I knew things were bad. What kind of man leaves his wife and children in the middle of snowstorms? And wants no contact? For 10 days?
After 16 years of marriage I was suddenly married to a stranger.
After 10 days of no contact he walked in. It was 8:30p.m. February 6th. He talked to the kids. I was in what had been our bedroom…now my bedroom. I was sitting on the bed. He walked in and looked at me for the longest time in silence. It felt like hours. I couldn’t look at him. I was too angry. Finally, in a sad voice said “are you so mad at me that you can’t even look at me?” I looked at him. Then, he said “I need to talk to you. ” I told him not that night but asked him to pick another night. He asked if we could talk the next night. I said yes.
After he left I went to bed, not sure what to expect the next day, but prayed (just as I had done) for the truth to be revealed. No matter what. I just need the truth.