Journal Entry – February 12, 2014

I’m so scared right now.  

I’m scared of opening my heart again only to have it destroyed again later.

I don’t want to go through his again.

I would rather be physically alone that have the physical presence of someone who is not here mentally or emotionally.  And I only want to have this hurt once – not again!

If he doesn’t want to be here completely, please Lord, end it now – not after I open my heart up again.  Now, while it already hurts.  Not later when it has healed and has to tear open again.  

Is this really and truly what Hub wants?

_________________________________________________

This was written after D-day.

 

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