Journal Entry – February 12, 2014

I’m so scared right now.  

I’m scared of opening my heart again only to have it destroyed again later.

I don’t want to go through his again.

I would rather be physically alone that have the physical presence of someone who is not here mentally or emotionally.  And I only want to have this hurt once – not again!

If he doesn’t want to be here completely, please Lord, end it now – not after I open my heart up again.  Now, while it already hurts.  Not later when it has healed and has to tear open again.  

Is this really and truly what Hub wants?


This was written after D-day.



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