I’m angry. Why is this my life? What did I do to deserve this? Am I not nice enough? Am I too nice? Didn’t I deserve to be cherished? What is it about me that gives me this – these circumstances to deal with? I took my vows seriously. I have tried to do everything I know to do to be the best wife and mom I could be. So why do I have a tainted life now?
Why will I always be second place?
What was wrong with the life I wanted?
When will the hurt stop? I have a heart full of hurt and anger and hatred. And I hate that.
I hate that I feel so much anger and hatred and hurt all at once. I hate that it won’t end. I hate that I don’t have anyone to talk to.
I hate that there is no light at the end of this tunnel.
I hate that I’m not special enough for any part of Hub to be kept just for me. I HATE that I’m no different to him than anyone else. I hate that I can’t change that. I hate that it will always be that way.