Yesterday was the 7th.
And we are 7 months in.
And guess what?
I didn’t even realize it was the 7th until I was writing out a check. I looked up at the calendar to check the date…and saw it right there. 7.
And I SMILED!
Up until this month I would wake up knowing it was the 7th and I could feel a cloud hanging on me all day long. I would go to bed thinking “I survived another one.”
But yesterday was different!
Honestly, the weekend was different.
I have felt peace lately, but I have still struggled with that “cringe” at certain points – especially when I leave my house or come home…I think because I tend to see one of Stacey’s vehicles when I come or go. I also tend to cringe when his cell goes off.
Saturday morning I woke up early. I had plans with some friends to go out-of-town that morning to do something fun. We left from my house. And for nearly 5 hours I never once thought about the affair or the women. Not when I left my house. Not when I came home. Not at all for nearly 5 hours!
I had been home for a while. I was standing in the kitchen and something popped in to my head.
Here’s what it was: “I haven’t thought about the affair or S or M today!”
I remembered then that my counselor told me at the beginning that there would come a day when I would think, “hey, I haven’t thought about that in a while!” And I thought then he was crazy. I wondered how on earth I would ever face a minute of the day when I didn’t think about it.
But I had it happen!
He was right!
But then, Saturday afternoon we were at home, waiting to go out that evening as a family. His cell went off. I tensed up. He saw. And he got up, walked over to me, handed me his cell phone, and said “I don’t have anything to hide. It’s ok. I want you to look.”
That evening we went out as a family. We had a great time. We didn’t hold hands or anything, but with the kids that’s hard to do sometimes because they are hanging on me. But at one point Hub & our son went to the restroom and my daughter & I were sitting and waiting on them. They came back and Hub had stopped to get me an ice cream cone (we had already bought the kids a treat – so don’t worry about them). To some that might not sound like much. But, to me that was so sweet. Because that meant he was thinking of me. He knows I have a weakness for ice cream.
Like I said, Sunday morning was great, because for the first time I didn’t automatically know it was the 7th. And then when I saw it was, I was able to smile about it. And I didn’t think about it anymore that day.
The day was uneventful.
And my mind was at peace.
And that’s what I like.
A simple life and a quiet mind.
And my first peace-filled 7th in the books.