Journal Entry – June 29, 2014

It’s been almost 5 months and I still feel so broken.  Is this it?  Is this my new normal?  Is this healed?  It doesn’t feel like it.  I feel hollow inside.  I feel like I’m sleep walking – not really living.  

I feel empty.  And I still have a head and heart full of questions:

  • will I ever know that he really completely wants me?
  • Or will I always wonder?
  • When we have sex is making love to me?  Or is he with one of them?
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One thought on “Journal Entry – June 29, 2014

  1. It took me exactly one year to start living my life again. I chose to break our marriage off, feeling the damage was too devastating to even try to mend it. I don’t know how to believe in someone who has proven that he is capable and willing to hurt me in his quest for eternal youth. There were other factors besides the infidelity, but I trusted him, and he didn’t value it enough to be trustworthy, faithful, or even remorseful.

    I know it feels like forever, but it lessens; your perspective becomes more focused on what is best for you alone; and you start creating a new life to replace the one you lost.

    Like

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