I don’t know how unique my situation is. My D-day started with him confessing – not me confronting, as I tend to read about. Although, I did confront him during the course of our D-weekend.
In his words, he confessed ‘because of the guilt and wanting things to work between us’. I think there is a thread of truth to that – but like I said, I did have to confront him less than 48 hours later because I found evidence there was more to the story. So, anyway….I take it with a grain of salt.
Anyway, (now to the point of this post) I have often wondered if I’m better off by knowing about his adultery, or if I would have been better off by not knowing.
At the beginning I used to feel like he should have kept his scummy secret to himself – I didn’t need to be burdened by his load of guilt and shame. Why shatter my world? Just tell me you want to work on our marriage, work on it & let it be.
However, I think I am glad I know. Don’t misunderstand me. I hate knowing about his sexual encounters, what he’s done, and what was done against me. BUT – I do know…and I have survived. On days when I was sure I would die from the crushing emotional pain, I didn’t! And, although we’re having to fight tooth and nail for this, now I know we are rebuilding on truth.
After all, what would have happened if we did rebuild & 7 years from now I found out about his infidelity? Our rebuilding would have been on a “false foundation” so to speak. Would we have stood up to the storm? Hard to say.