I posted over the weekend about my indifference. I’m not sure what that indifference means for me, my healing process, or our marriage.
Truth be told, it kind of scares me.
I’m good with being completely indifferent to the OW.
But I shouldn’t be indifferent toward my husband.
So I spent the last couple days researching books to help me sort this out.
I’m a planner. And not having a plan for this thing (called affair recovery) is about to make me more nuts than I already think I’m going.
Right now I don’t know if I’m right side up or upside down. Really, I kind of feel like I’m disoriented underwater, trying to figure out which way is up so I know where to swim. So…am I swimming toward the top…or am I swimming further & further down?
I need answers.
I checked in to about 3 different books, Torn Asunder by Dave Carder, Surviving Infidelity, Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain by Rona B. Subotnik & Gloria Harris, and Surviving an Affair by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr. & Dr. Jennifer Harley Chalmers.
After reading the reviews of all 3, I decided against Torn Asunder. I read several reviews in a couple different places that said it seems as the author blames faithful spouse. If that’s the case, I’m sure he didn’t intend for it to sound that way, but right now I don’t want to add to the issues I am already dealing with. I may get to a point later on where I can read that, but for now I decided against it.
I downloaded a sample of Surviving Infidelity, Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain. I struggled to get in to in. But, I may revisit that one later on as well.
So I downloaded a sample of Surviving an Affair by Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. & Dr. Jennifer Harley Chalmers. And I found that one as easy read (which I need because my mind feels like oatmeal right now). So, I started reading it yesterday. So far I am enjoying the book. I’m hoping it helps me to make sense of this recovery process.
My plan right now is to do these 2 alone. I need to do this for me…for my healing. I don’t think our marriage can heal until I heal. And I think my counselor took me about as far as he could, so here I am.
So for those of you who either have recovered or are recovering, what things have you found helpful in your own personal recovery process? Is there anything that hindered your recovery process?
Blessings to you all today!