This morning as I sat down to write my “3 Thankfuls”, I had to stop. I couldn’t get past the first one.
I needed to pray.
My stomach began to churn.
You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach?
That. It was that feeling.
So I prayed.
I prayed specifically for my husband.
Something seems “off”.
He seems distant.
I finally feel like I am healing and coming to a place a peace (I say coming to place of peace because I know that some days I have peaceful days and other days I struggle, but I am having more peaceful days that struggling days).
But I’m finally ready to say “ok, I’m in, let’s do this.” And, it seems as though he has backed away.
So, I wonder…what happens in the mind of the betrayer around the 7th – 8th month?
Has he grown weary of my emotionally flooding?
Tired of my need to be with him or to know what is going on?
Has he decided this isn’t what he wants?
Or does something happen in the mind of the betrayer during this time that we (the betrayed) don’t know about?
He tends to keep it all in.
He doesn’t share.
So I don’t know.
But I know I miss him.