I’m struggling today.
I don’t like struggling.
I especially don’t like struggling go in to a weekend.
I realized a few minutes ago that odds are good that I will come in contact with S tonight. There is a function tonight that I will be attending as “Mom”. She will be attending the same event as “Mom”. And although we will both have our “Mom hats” on, and probably won’t say anything to each other, it doesn’t make the prospect of being at the same event with her any easier. And really, I kind of want to vomit right now. And I’m sure by time it rolls around I will be full on sick.
She’s just so not me. And maybe that was the point of the whole affair, but really…she’s just not even anyone I would be friends with – we literally have nothing in common. Except we have both had sex with my husband. Ugh.
Today is one of those days when I think “I can’t do this anymore!”…but I know I have to suck it up, plaster on a fake smile, and do it. Because my kids need me. Because I promised God I would. And because somewhere in the back of my mind I think S & M say I can’t – and I want to prove them wrong.