Obituary of the Man I Thought I Knew

July 1974 – February 7, 2014

Although our paths didn’t cross until our teen years, our lives were being knitted together from the beginning.

A by-product of friendships, I suppose it was inevitable that we would eventually end up together.

I fell in love with:

  • your sense of humor
  • your larger than life personality
  • your big dreams
  • your gentle ways
  • the way you looked at me
  • your big hand holding my small hand
  • the way we talked for hours – about everything and nothing all at the same time
  • the way you made me feel like I was the only one that mattered

You were honest with me – or so I thought.  I thought you meant the words in every letter written and every word spoken.  Now, I’m left wondering.

I’m heartbroken.  I’m no longer the only woman who knows the look you make when you make love.  I’m not the only one to hear “I love you” or feel your hand or have you look with ‘that look’.  Or talk about everything and nothing lying in bed, or while sharing a meal.  I’m not the only woman to feel like I’m the only one that matters.  And in that – I feel like I never mattered at all.

I miss you.  I’ll always miss the fun we had together, the laughter we shared and the millions of memories made.

I bury the man I thought I knew.

But in that burial I celebrate a life that perhaps, never really existed.  The reality is, I don’t know who I loved.  But tomorrow I will wake up and grow closer to a new man in my life – a man who, at times, reminds me of the you I thought I knew.

I’ll never forget you.  Thank you for being my first true love, best friend, and the father of my children.

“Grief never ends…But it changes.  It’s a passage, not a place to stay.  Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith…It is the price of love.” ~Author Unknown


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