Par For the Course

So, an interesting thing has happened at work.

Rumor has it the outside company that handles our payroll hasn’t been sending in my employer’s match for my retirement plan contribution.

I overheard that rumor yesterday.  I still haven’t been told anything officially, as I suspect they are still checking in to it.

At any rate I filled my husband in on the news yesterday.  And he is livid.  Completely up in arms.  “How could someone do that?  How could they just not send in the match?”

Me?  Eh.  Every time he starts in about it I think “really…this is not the worst thing I’ve ever had to deal with.  It can be fixed – it will be fine.”  I’m not worried about it or even mad about it.

“She (the woman at the accountant’s office responsible for our company accounts) should be fired!  You need to do something!”

And I keep thinking – why?  Why should she be fired for screwing me out of 4 years of my employers match and yet I didn’t divorce you for screwing 2 women and breaking your vows to me?

If I had my pick I’d chose in tact vows over money any day!

Is this supposed to show me something about him?  Does he value money more than vows?  Or is he really that distressed about my retirement?

I guess I feel a little like – well…it’s par for the course of my life.  Screwed out of a good, healthy marriage…screwed out of good physical health…screwed out of years worth of employer match.

I suppose just like everything else, only time will tell how this pans out and where my husband’s concern really lies.  But at this point I really don’t care one way or the other.



4 thoughts on “Par For the Course

  1. My husband is the same with traffic. I bet it probably has to do with the fact that our husbands are the ones that screwed up versus someone else. It is always easier to see where the blame lies with others than yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Compartmentalisation! One thing has nothing to do with the other. They just don’t join the dots! We do, all the f**king time 🙂 I have to laugh sometimes (well, it has been three years) at my husbands fussing around me. His mother (don’t ask me about her- she’s another story) said when we last met and he was settling me in on the table and making sure I had everything “oh, how my son looks after you, so concerned” Yeah, right!!!!! Husband of the year eh? Didn’t give a shit when prancing about with Pig Shit and humiliating me. As I say, compartmentalisation – it’s what adulterers do!


  3. ^ has a point. You join the dots, not him. He is reacting to news you gave him, which affects you. And his reaction is pretty normal given normal circumstances. But post affair – how else could he have reacted. Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t right?

    He can’t change the past. But moving forward, does that mean every action and word will be forever judged in comparison to the sin he committed? Or will he be given the chance for redemption, to change, to be a better person. Forgiveness doesn’t mean the past is forgotten, or the sins no longer exists – but it’s giving them chance to be free of the chains that bind them to their transgression against you, and removing the debt that is owed.

    You thoughts and reactions are understandable, but mired by the taint of the affair. Hard to do, but sometimes, you just have to live in the present and keep things related to the affair with the affair. In some ways, you need to compartmentalize the affair and all things related vs. the life you are now.


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