Feeling Uncomfortable

Maybe it’s that I’m 2 months from 40.

Maybe it’s that I’ve lost and gained back several pounds over the past 2 years.

Maybe it’s that I’m busy carting kids & sitting on bleachers instead of running and working out like I used to.

But whatever it is, I look different.

And I don’t like it.

Some would say “you can change it”.  I’m sure I could.
The bottom line is I’m not interested in getting up at 4a.m.  So, maybe I’m not unsatisfied enough with the way I look.

My self-esteem took a hit after D-day anyway.  I don’t think it’s ever recovered.

My formerly flat, tight belly now resembles my 14 year ago post-pregnancy belly.  It’s soft and squishy.  Stark white.  Ugly.  Stretched out belly button.  Ugh.

I haven’t gained any weight in the last year.  I’m not technically over weight.  But somehow this change has taken place.

I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

But to be honest – I haven’t felt comfortable with any aspect of myself since D-day.  I’m trying to figure out who I am.  I lost who I was.  I changed.  I’m still changing.  Now I’m trying to figure out what I look like.

Do we ever reach a point where we find ourselves and are happy with who we find at the end of this?

 

 

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